I know that disappointment is a part of life. I believe it, I do. I believe that we have to experience disappointment in order to fully appreciate and enjoy what we are given. I could preach it to somebody if I needed to.... but today, I can't accept it. Today I want to wallow around in self pity. I want to wrap myself up in it. Wallow. I want to Wallow. I feel cheated. Like I was given some big cosmic sign that everything was in place and ready to go - that I would finally (FINALLY) see my wishes/dreams come true. Only, the joke was on me. That it was never really meant to be and that I was not seeing THE BIG PICTURE as I'd hoped - that it wasn't a sign from God that it was time to turn 2 into 3 - but instead, it was my own desire. I was projecting. I'm starting my next cycle. And I'm not optimistic. Not like I was the first time. As a matter of fact I feel like this, too, is a waste. Here's what I do know: Life isn't fair. and it isn't easy. And sometimes we just have to "man up" and keep going. Even when we want to wallow. Even when we want to snarl at people who offer us advice on how to get where we're going. We just have to keep going. Keep driving and pushing in the direction of our dreams. And disappointment, I guess, is just a rest stop along the way.