So, I tested. This morning. Negative.
Not really surprised. I think I'm approaching the "throw in the towel" moment. Everybody has to have a point where they say "ENOUGH." But will I ever feel like enough is, well, enough? I don't know.
Here's my WHOA-WHO NEEDS A PSYCH EVAL moment of the day --- I took the "What To Expect" book and slammed it as hard as I could on the ground. And it felt nice. The damn book was mocking me -- showing me all that I couldn't have. And I felt real joy in throwing it down.
I'm going to have a nice big glass of wine, or two... or three... and enjoy it. And savor it. And know that there are lots of big o' pregnant women out there who can't enjoy a glass of wine. And so what if I spend the next 365 days envying them... for tonight, I'll let myself go.
